rhinos disguised as elephants

There’s got to be a way to delete you, but you seem to reappear as soon as I start to forget.

I remind myself that you are not real, your perfection is imaginary.

I am holding on to a daydream, where you are my hero. I  must realize that you’re just a body, a vessel, I have filled with a heart of gold that beats for me.

I created you, I desire you but I don’t even know you. How do you do this? How did this happen? How is it you are everything I want and need?  Will I ever be free?









I’ve always been very sexual. Not promiscuous, I can count all of my partners on one hand. But, when I’m bonded to someone, I’m their personal whore. It pleasures me to pleasure them; immensely.


Sell Out!

I was talking to a fellow music junkie and he was expressing with great emotion how he was upset that one of his longtime favorite musicians had “Sold Out”
It got me thinking, since I have also felt this before- but why?
As a musician/Artist having a sold out show and selling millions of records means you must be doing something right. The fact that an person can formulate notes from their brain and transfer them through their fingers or mouth and touch someone else’s heart amazes me.
I have been to live shows where I’ve been in tears, because the connection between me and a person I’ve never met before that is on stage have a similar emotional connection that they turned into harmony.
Why would I be so greedy and not want others to feel this too??
So for my fellow musician- GOOD LUCK AND SELL OUT!
Just don’t start adding that vocoder and low vocal on your tracks that EVERY pop song has in it right now.


It is what it is

It is what it is.

But if “it” is making you unhappy or sad, you can change what “it”is.
Change can be uncomfortable and scary, but only for awhile. After some time the change turns into what “it is”
And it is what it is.


Philip Seymour Hoffman

Heroin has been around for a really long time and you NEVER hear about how it’s made someone’s life incredibly awesome. It’s nothing to mess around with! You will become it’s Slave! You will lose your most precious belongings, friends, family and usually your life. If you do get off of it, most likely for the rest of your life you will be haunted by the need. PLEASE NEVER TRY IT!!! If you have, I hope and pray you get off of it and have the strength to never succumb to it again. I have seen too many obituaries of friends and aquantences. RIP PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN. You were not my friend but many love you and are deeply saddened with your death. I am sending my thoughts and prayers out to those who have lost themselves or someone to this horrible drug I renamed the grim reaper.



From the darkest dirt grows a weak seedling
Striving for a breath of the brisk dawn breeze

Pushing thru the earth with a powerful burst

It’s head is pained from the draining accomplishment. Puncturing thru the clay and rubble around him.

A hint of daylight arrouses the youngster.
Fueled with more pride, he becomes a monster.
Concur an take over


I try

I strive to be strong, but you dose me with poison
I try to move on and remember my reason.
You’re blinded by your mind
And it’s seeping thru my pores
I try to rise up I try to ignore the clouded horizon beckons me.
I know beyond there is a world
Of hope a world of no suffering
A world to cope with inner demons

The fine diamonds in your eyes gleam brighter than your disguise